Humans are self-important, self-absorbed and oblivious to their surroundings.
Granted, this is being written a few hours after getting off an airplane. Where else to really get a sense of humanity but a 34 row flying cylinder of pressurized air and strangers? You don't really get the gist of it unless you're forced to share space with people you don't know and who all want to get on and off the plane before you. No matter what. Flying rant starts now:
First, when airlines actually make an announcement for pre-boarding (and it doesn't happen all the time), it usually applies to families with children and those who need assistance (i.e. old people). So why is that EVERYBODY decides to get in line then? Why not give those people a few seconds, like maybe 30 to 60, to get out of their chairs and make their way to the gates unimpeded?
Second, when your airplane lands and the seatbelt sign gets turned off and you're sitting in row 33 of 34, sit your ass down. You're not helping matters by standing there, tapping your foot, waiting to get off. You're in row 33! BTW, if you go down the aisle before someone in row 32 (who hasn't been able to get their stuff together because you've been standing in the aisle the whole time) you should have your brains AND intestines eaten first.
Third, when you sit down on the plane keep in mind that there is a slight chance that the person sitting behind you may have been born with knees. Don't do a Greg Louganis and back dive into your chair. That sucks.
Fourth, when you smile at a baby and act all nice, don't let its mother see your blackberry when you text before takeoff that "Now I have to sit next to a sick baby for 2 hours..." Low class. Plus, by the time the plane reached 10,000 feet said baby was asleep and slept the ENTIRE flight.
Fifth, pushing a stroller and two carry-on bags and carrying a backpack and a baby and a diaper bag takes some coordination, so give the parents a break. I promise you they are not trying to hold you up so you can stand at the baggage carousel, tapping your foot, waiting to pick up your luggage...
May the zombies eat you first...
2 comments:
Dude, the new posts are not showing up for me. Only finding them in Attic. What up?
Dan, my friend, if I was sitting next to you I'd be high-fiving you with all the energy my little body could muster. My advice in dealing with the haters...just kick them in the shins.
Post a Comment