I sure hate me some Danzig

I heard "Mother" on two separate occasions yesterday.
Once in the car and once on the Metal station on our Digital TV radio thingy.
I had switched it from the Christmas Music channel to the Metal channel to see if the wife would notice. It took her like 10 minutes but she DID notice.

That song sucked in the 90s and it still sucks.
I don't know Danzig's catalog. The only other Danzig song I've heard is the one with the video with the sandpit in it and the band like rises up from the sand looking all hardcore and stuff.
But I do have a pretty good idea of what sucks. And it's that song.

Merry Christmas or Merry Blackness or whatever, Glenn Danzig.

November 2008 Half-Poll - Scaaarry

So. I was going to follow this half-month poll with another poll that was Thanksgiving related. So much for the best laid plans.

Not many voters this go-around (probably due to lack of my monthly email) but the majority of you were skeezed out by the Random Backwoods Redneck.

BW was, too.

Hope everyone had an amazing Thanksgiving. We would blame a tryptophan coma on not posting in a while but that would be a lie.

College is Stupid

Take a good look at this map.
This was recently in the New York Times.
Remember those maps of the US in 2004 that depicted the Electoral Votes in a RED and BLUE distortion according to population and which inadvertently made the country look like a lava lamp?
Well, this map represents the number of Electoral Votes each state has (the small black #) and, more interestingly, the number of voters each Electoral Vote represents (the large white #).

If you are from Wyoming (or freakin DC for that matter which has taxation without representation!) your vote counts A LOT! This map represents this by the SIZE of each state above.
Since 2001 when I moved from KY to TN and then in 2002 from TN to MA and then in 2008 from MA to TN my vote counted like this...
NOT SO MUCH - EVEN LESS - MUCH BETTER? - CRAP

Now, this is going to be a little dangerous what I do here, but heck, every talking head on TV does it...I'm going to make a crazy, declarative statement without doing diligent research on a topic and then be unapologetic for it later and say I stand by it wholeheartedly and then get fired by Biscuit World for making such a statement and then I'll get re-hired by some other blog site cuz I'm just that awesome.

Here goes: GET RID OF THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE SYSTEM.

And no, this is not Al Gore sour grapes. This is legit. It's outdated in my opinion, give everyone a fair shot. I mean, when rational friends of mine are writing in "Ted Nugent" for President for their vote just because there is no way Candidate X will NOT get all the Electoral Votes already in their state, SOMETHING needs to be done.

I do not want Wango Tango with his finger on the button nor do I want "Cat Scratch Fever Day" to be a National Holiday.

But I could be wrong. I'm just too lazy to read up on it.

October 2008 Poll - Cool Hand Palin with a Full Tank

Sheesh. Talk about parity. First time we have ever had a three-way TIE!!!
Zombie Paul Newman! Tina Fey as Sarah Palin! Dudes/Dudettes with Petrol in their Vehicles! Pretty sweet. Send BW your Halloween pics and let us know if we can post them.

Hope that everyone had an amazing Halloween. Took the little Dragon to the Candy-Side of town. It was sweet. Heh. Congrats to all the winners! BW, of course, voted for the Color of Zombie, the Cold Dead Hand Luke, the Salad Dressing King himself...yummmmmm...brainy croutons.

Buckin the Trend

I decided today that from NOW ON...
When I throw my hands up in the air, I will wave them around AND care.

I. Will. Care.
For realz. I'm not just going to wave my hands around willy-nilly.
Seems like a waste of time.

September 2008 Poll - Feelin Blue

BW likes the color blue. Always has. Always will.
And apparently, so do you!

"Bluish" edges out "Greenish" in this month's poll results to take home favorite colour honors. Congratulations, blue. Now if you could just get your depressed, lazy ass out of bed and go out and celebrate that would be nice...

WTF?! Do what now?

Umm...
So, you'd be next in line to lead this country and this is what you got?

Things are bigger...faster...there's computers...
SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!!!

P.E.T.R.O.L.

Dang.
So last Friday, a reported 85% of Nashville-area gas stations ran out. Of gas.
They RAN OUT OF GAS!

Some people were saying (check out my impeccable journalistic skills) that a rumour (English style spelling!) had started that there was a shortage here and people went batty like back in the day when a winter storm would hit Louisville. Now, Kentucky style demands that if you hear of several inches of snow coming to the Ohio Valley you MUST MUST MUST buy up all the bread and milk you can in the few minutes after the weather report you will have before others get to it first. I mean, I can't tell you how many times I'd be snowed in just longing for a glass of milk and some toast. It was a hunger pang that neither bologna nor PB&J nor Mountain Dew nor water nor canned goods nor any other edible item in my home would sate. It HAD to be bread and milk...And so it goes down here apparently for gas. I drove around on the afternoon of the 19th and it was a mad house.

But I heard that Atlanta had a bit of it this week as well. So, we're not THAT crazy. But, it does beg several questions. Number one, WTF? Number two, WTH? Number three, AYFKM?

Now I am restraining from a rant here, but what is going on in this country that this panic is taking hold? I mean, the economy is not good, gas prices are not good, consumer confidence is not good. It reminds me of after [that event that Republicans like to remind us about] how tenuous the market really was and is and how a feeling, such as FEAR, could and can wreak havoc across the board. And as much as some people might like to think it, what happens here does have an effect on global markets, and they get scared as well and it starts to snowball...

These problems are here. We'll have to deal. I don't want to join in the blame game but YOU KNOW if Clinton were in office right now there would be a rail in DC with him on it and he would be riding that thing out of town.

BUT, the most important take-away from this is that when the Zombie Apocalypse finally comes about, don't count on the kindness of your neighbour. They will have already ransacked the grocery store, filled their car ALL the way up to the brim (plus gas cans) and probably have "liquidated" their assets from the local bank.

Get your ZAKPAKs (tm) ready. [NOTE: Zombie Apocalypse Kit, available by special mail order through Biscuit World for $49.95 (child's PAK for $39.95)]

August 2008 Poll - Taking a Nose Dive...

Sorry for the delay, folks!!! Biscuit World did not mean to cause you any undue stress. We have moved headquarters to Tennessee in order to get the fastest broadband in the nation and to put a little twang in this thang!!! Thanks for your patience and may your Chicken Fried Chicken or Steak Fried Steak or Steak Fried Chicken always be smothered in delicious white gravy...mmm...

Now. We're not quite sure but we think this site was hacked by the Chinese Diving Team.
Not quite satisfied with their dominance (7 GOLD!) at the Olympics, they had to win here at BW, too!
The winner of the August 2008 Poll was 10m Diving!

Congratulations on a successful Olympics, everyone! Except YOU, Mauritius...
ONE Medal??? And a bronze at that???

We expected more from you (READ: I had money on you and now I'm poor)!!!

July 2008 Poll - All About the Benjaminz

Ben Franklin is the winner this month. He edged out both Sam Adams and Thomas Jefferson for Favourite Founding Father!!! Thanks to Ben for his bifocals, lightning rod, Franklin stove, public library, and of course, hanging out with the Kool-Aid Man. A pretty fascinating guy, Ben wore many different hats during his lifetime and is considered a polymath (a kind of Renaissance Man). He even played several musical instruments.

Congratulations to Benjamin. If we see him wandering around downtown Boston, BW will be sure to give him his award personally!

Top 10 Superhero Movies...for now...

I just saw "The Dark Knight" last night and I'm feeling rather inspired. W. O. W.
Now this list could be considered woefully underrepresented; I haven't seen the new "Hulk", "Hancock", or "Hellboy II" and there are others I have missed along the way like the Blade, Fantastic Four, and Punisher movies. And some lists online include things like "The Matrix" (too sci-fi for my list) and "V for Vendetta" (comic book yes, but not on this list) and even "Unbreakable" (I am a Shamalamadingdong apologist. I don't think he TOTALLY sucks but then again I haven't seen "The Happening" yet but this is definitely a fanboy movie). Oh, and the Spider-Man movies weren't my bag either. Oh well.

Let the arguments commence!!!

10. "Superman" - The original from 1978. Pure and innocent. Gene Hackman rules and I STILL laugh at the line when Superman appears on the sidewalk after changing..."That's a NICE OUT FIT!!!"

9. "Darkman" - Not the most common choice but Liam Neeson is amazing. Plus, "TAKE THE F***ING ELEPHANT!!!"

8. "Batman" - From 1989. I still think the gadgets were brilliant and I think Nicholson's Joker helped set the bar for Ledger. I was really excited back in the day when this came out.

7. "Hellboy" - I LOVE this comic book and the movie had perfect casting, perfect coloring, and perfect mood. The ending was slightly anticlimactic and over too quick but Ron Perlman is badass.

6. "The Incredibles" - VERY underrated movie. They took the archetypal powers and made them new and exciting. Being animated, I also thought of mentioning "Ultimate Avengers" and the "Mask of the Phantasm"/"Sub-Zero" Batman animated movies. But this is the best of the bunch.

5. "Rocketeer" - Maybe not a SUPERhero but one of the best movies in terms of adventure and feel of the time period. And yes, I was guilty of having a crush on Jennifer Connelly before her anorexia kicked in.

4. "X-Men 2" - Alan Cumming as Nightcrawler. And the opening sequence was just incredible.

3. "Iron Man" - Super-fun. Perfect casting of Robert Downey, Jr. Today the special effects and tech look so good and seamless that it's hard not to enjoy.

2. "Superman 2" - Who doesn't love a superhero fight? Surprised myself by nominating two of this early franchise. The new movie was good but the new Luthor didn't do it for me like the old Luthor..."Australia"

1. "The Dark Knight" - without a doubt the best movie to date. Just go see it.

The 2008 Biscuit World All-Star Cereal Character Baseball Team!

Sitting with some friends eating some General Gau, we started talking about Coco Crisp of the Red Sox. That got me riffing on Cereal Characters and what position they would play. Well, you are welcome.


Other team members include:
Sonny from Cocoa Puffs - Closing Pitcher
Sugar Smacks Frog - Middle Relief
Fred Flinstone - Designated Hitter
Honey Nut Bee - Pinch Runner
Boo Berry - First Base Coach
Franken Berry - Third Base Coach
Count Chocula - Bat Boy
Sugar Bear - Manager
Coco Crisp - General Manager

Kirkmaniac 2: Electric Boogaloo!!!

It just got ridiculous. My second letter printed in The Walking Dead this week.

Now, I'm not saying anything for sure, but if Robert Kirkman moved up here to Massachusetts then we might just get married. Fo realz.

But the good thing is that in two months time, by moving to Nashville, I will be moving closer to him. Just have to fight those pesky state constitutions in KY and TN and then we can basically move in together.

Of course, I'm kidding. But it is pretty rad to be printed twice in my favorite comic to date. And 50 was the perfect one to get printed in. The issue all about a boy and his father. On a side note, if I've mentioned this already forgive me, but if you like post-apocalyptic, character-driven stories, then do us all a favor and pick up Cormac McCarthy's The Road. Yeah. The No Country for Old Men dude. It's a quick read and really shows some interesting ways one would survive after a doomsday.

So, go out and pick up some Walking Dead or Kirkman or McCarthy. Happy 4th. Don't blow any fingers off...

June 2008 Poll - Nostalgia Neck and Neck

The nostalgia battle took over this poll almost from the get-go. Thirty days later and 8 votes apiece and we end up with ANOTHER Biscuit World Poll Tie.

Can't say I blame you though. I think you either grew up in an Atari house or a Nintendo house. I don't know if I ever heard of someone owning BOTH! I mean, this isn't "Silver Spoons" or anything.

NES dominated in graphics, right? I mean, it was an 8-bit system and Mario is tough to deny. But, as BW knows, there was nothing like a two-hour session of Asteroids to take the edge off after school. Plus, you had the classics: Space Invaders, Missile Command, Defender, and Combat (board 7 for me please! Full-on maze with tanks AND ricochet!). And of course, Pitfall 1 and 2, Keystone Kapers, and the other Activision games! But you also had E.T. and Street Racer and the Atari version of Pac-Man. Hmmm... I do have to admit though getting a healthy dose of Nintendo at my boy Antoine's house in high school. Batman, Othello, Tetris for hours and hours.

Congratulations, 1977 and your baby, the Atari 2600. And Congratulations 1985 and the NES.
Both worthy adversaries in the Console Wars but we're ALL winners in this battle...

The DEWmocratic Process

I have wrestled with this for about 2 weeks now. But I think I have made my final decision.

As previously mentioned, Mountain Dew is having a contest to determine a new flavor. The contestants are VOLTAGE, SUPERNOVA, and REVOLUTION.

The rundown:
VOLTAGE: Raspberry Citrus with Ginseng. You taste the Raspberry up front and then a slight aftertaste of ginseng.
SUPERNOVA: Strawberry Melon with Ginseng. Not overpowering but still strawberry melon. Turns out to be much, much better than the Melon Mello Yello from years ago.
REVOLUTION: Wild Berry with Ginseng. Not bad. Just not that good?

I thought at first that Voltage was my thang. Then I had the shot by shot comparison as seen in the photo. After that, I thought Revolution was it.

But my final decision is VOLTAGE. And in true BW fashion I give it an Orion Rating.



I give it only 3 Orions because it's just not going to knock off the original anytime soon but it has enough kick to be a Mountain Dew flavor and the Raspberry Citrus was a better option than reaching for a Strawmelon soda when it's hot.

Don't forget to vote at dewmocracy.com

May the Zombies Eat You First #3

Part of the reason I love both the original and remake of "Dawn of the Dead" is the location for each movie - the mall. How many hours have I spent running around a mall? How many days of my high school life were spent at a mall? I'm not much of a shopper (never had much money) but for some reason I always felt drawn there. And the movie comments on this very well.

But there are more things than zombies to worry about in a mall. A few survival tips are in order:
1) Never EVER look the Cell Phone Kiosk Dudes in the eye. Deadly.
2) Just because Best Buy is in the mall doesn't mean you should go there.
3) When they say no strollers on the escalator they mean it for a reason...sheesh. And I was the one pushing the stroller!!!
4) Stop frequenting the Hat Store (do they still call them "haberdasheries" still?) or Lids or whatever. Buy one cap and wear it out. You don't need 20 hats for your wardrobe.
5) And lastly, the Apple Store breaks the record for most employees not doing a gottdamm thing but still looking like they are busy while wearing the neon T-shirts that are from an ad campaign that started like 12 years ago. SERIOUSLY! I counted TWENTY-ONE employees (wearing either orange, blue, or black) and when Dr. BW wanted to check out, how many were manning the check-out? One and a half. Unbelievable.

So. For the Cell Phone Kiosk Dudes, the entire Best Buy company, the Hat Store Dudes, and ESPECIALLY the Apple Dudes and Dudettes...

May the ZOMBIES eat you first...

And a special honorable mention - the entire Porter Square CVS staff for having world record setting crappy service and the longest check-out times in any store ever frequented by anyone at any point in the history of man, alien, capitalism, free market trade, haggling, or simply borrowing a cup of rocks from the next door cave neighbors.

May 2008 Poll - I ain't lyin! It's Orion!

In a tightly contested matchup, Orion pulls away from the Pleiades within the last week to win this month's Biscuit World Poll. All the stargazers in the BW Community came out to vote and the votes were widely spread, even Canis Major getting a vote! The Pleiades and Orion were deadlocked for quite some time but The Hunter pulled this one out.

BW's fave was Cassiopeia but, then again, BW does have a little vested interest in the name Orion at least...

Congratulations to our star-studded contestants and especially our victor. May your belt always, ALWAYS, hold up your celestial pants!!!

Coming Soon! DEWmocracy!!!

In June of this year, our country will be of the beverage, by the beverage, and for the beverage!!!
Mountain Dew releases THREE new flavors to be voted upon by the beverage-drinking public. Although VOLTAGE is already out and BW has tried that one, we will wait to do a full product review until all products have been released. [NOTE: The other two were supposedly released the same day (May 19) but BW has yet to find them! Attn: Pepsi! Send FREE LIFETIME SAMPLES!]

The three new Mountain Dew flavors (all with ginseng) are:
VOLTAGE - Raspberry Citrus
SUPERNOVA - Strawberry Melon
and REVOLUTION - Wild Berry

All flavors were designed virtually online by Dew Drinkers and now the top three battle it out for posterity.

BW is a Mountain Dew fan. To say the least. Apart from the Canadian-only releases, Slurpee-only flavors, and those brands only test-marketed in other cities, BW has a pretty good grasp on what's what in the World of Mountain Dew. You want a list? Alrighty then...

BW's Top Mountain Dew Flavors (colors in parentheses):
1) The Original (yellow-green) - Can't mess with the original recipe...
2) Code Red (red) - Infused with Cherry!
3) Baja Blast (teal) - Lime-flavored and currently only available in the CambridgeSide Taco Bell
4) Game Fuel (red-orange) - Limited Edition Halo 3 drink for Gamers...oh, how we miss thee!
5) Voltage (periwinkle?) - Newest Contender in the Dewmocracy War!
6) LiveWire (orange) - Originally a summer 2003 release intended for SUMMER ONLY (it's still here)
7) Pitch Black II (deep purple, heh) - Sour grape sequel to original Halloween-release of Pitch Black I

Stay tuned for more reviews! And don't forget the new poll tomorrow!!!

New Product Review! Throw Me the Cereal!!!

Just in time for the May 22nd Premiere! Kellogg's presents LIMITED EDITION Indiana Jones Cereal!

So, I'm a cereal connoisseur. The routine was come home from school, get a bowl of cereal, watch YCDTOTV ("You Can't Do That On Television"). I have no idea how many bowls I have eaten in my lifetime but it has to number in the millions.

Now, this one takes me back to Saturday morning serials. Pun intended. The marketing tie-in of course got me but it's a quality product. Chocolate puffs with Marshmallows. Pretty standard fare but the marshmallows are on par with those of Lucky Charms and the chocolate flavor is great.

Initially, I thought the puffs might be too "puffy", if that makes sense. Definitely not like Cocoa Puffs here. Those can get pretty crunchy. The Indy puffs are closer to a 2 or 3 on the 1=puffy, 10=crunchy scale. However, I was pleasantly surprised after the MIM test (Minutes In Milk). Only the part of the puff submerged got soggy so it left a hemisphere still intact. Some cereal puffs lose all their shell if even a portion touches the milk. A tragedy of milk osmosis saturation.

One tiny complaint here though. The marshmallows. I mean, take a look at the photographic evidence. That's supposed to be a skull, a torch, Indy's hat, and the Temple of Akator. Seriously? We can put a man on the moon but we can't get marshmallow technology down? I'm waiting for the day of full-on, 3-D, anatomically correct Marshmallow Men. Kind of gross maybe but I say we do it BECAUSE WE CAN. We may never reach that plateau. Until then, we'll have to stick with what we got.

Indiana Jones Cereal. Gets 4 Orions out of 5. It boosts the anticipation of the movie and was good to eat up to 3 bowls in a row!

April 2008 Poll - X Marks the Spot!!!

Mutants Triumphant! The X-Men top the list of our April poll beating out the classic super-team, the Justice League.

BW voted for the winner this time around. Did the movie franchise put this over the top? Probably so. But it also could be the all-inclusive nature of the team itself. A team that welcomes all shapes and sizes (especially Famke Janssen!) even all colors (blue preferred). After all, aren't we all just a little bit mutant?

Congrats, X-Team on your win. Keep saving the world and pushing for equal rights for homo superior!

Oh, and a word of condolence to the poor chap who voted for the Watchmen. Mental note: that's not going to end so well...

BW NOTE: Favorite X-Man of all time is Rogue.

NEW! Product Review!

Today was Bacon Club Chalupa Day.
Well, actually it was KFC Tuesday Special Day. Leg, Thigh, Mashed Potatoes, and Biscuit for $1.99!!!
I find myself heading down the street every Tuesday. Nah' mean?

But, back to the chalupa. "The product features tender, juicy marinated all-white meat chicken and crispy, real smoked bacon surrounded in a crispy, flaky Chalupa shell. The Club Chalupa is topped off with a creamy sauce, crisp lettuce, a three-cheese blend and ripe tomatoes." Well, at least that's what the "Bacon Unwrapped" blog said about it.

So, since I'm such a sucker for new product marketing (especially beverage and candy varieties - Mountain Dew and Reese's Cups!), I will occasionally be reviewing new items when I try them.

The ranking will be from 1 to 5 Orions (5 being the best):


Officially, Biscuit World gives the Taco Bell Bacon Club Chalupa...(drum roll)...


4 Orions! The crispy shell worked for the most part but was maybe a little dry. Would a Bacon Club Gordita be the perfect sandwich? We may never know...

May the Zombies Eat You First #2

Parents of a one-year-old out on a date after several months.
Movie Theater on a Sunday afternoon.
(First off, may the zombies eat the theater managers first for charging full price for a 4:25 pm show)

Sparsely filled auditorium at 4:10.
Slowly filling up from 4:15 on.
The obligatory doofus-head and girlfriend come in during the previews and sit directly in front of you.
They notice you are gigantic and take up most of the aisle with your gigantic knees spread apart.
They decide to sit directly in front of you anyway.
And, of course, the obligatory doofus-head sits in that chair and does a "Greg Louganis" (see MTZEYF #1) into your crotchal area.
And, of course, during the last preview, a woman and her friends crowd into your aisle and take away your buffer chair.

Fun stuff.
At least the movie (21) was good. Boston hasn't looked that good on film since The Departed.

May the ZOMBIES eat you first...

Comic Recommendates #2

Looking back over my old posts I realized that the first "Comic Recommendates" was from November of last year. And here's #2. Not bad for something I had initially planned on doing weekly? Sheesh. The theme of this post (apparently) will be IMAGE COMICS!!! All three of my comics are from the #3 publisher behind Marvel and DC (can we assume that? I guess). And shout-outs to Image Comics for putting most of their comics' first issues on their website. Click on the highlights and it will take you the main page. Then just click on the issue picture and begin reading!!! Commencing...

UNO - Gotta start off with my favorite book, The Walking Dead.
You've seen TWD before on the BW, notably from my letter being printed in it. It is written by fellow Kentuckian, Robert Kirkman, and is drawn superbly by Charlie Adlard who picked up the duties (heh, "doodies") from Tony Moore after Issue 6.

A great post-apocalyptic zombie story with great character development and a fresh take on how we would make it in a zombie-world. The most recent Issue 48 slew me. It was so good! You get so involved with these characters you empathize with them beyond belief. And when something happens to them, well...

Trades are out there. You'll notice the art change in Trade 2. Initially I was wary but Adlard is destroying the book of late. I love Tony Moore but now I love Charlie. Love's a crazy thing. (BW NOTE: Trade paperbacks are collections of several issues in one book. Largely taking from 4 to 6 issues, or however long the story arc might be. And now you've learned something today, non-comic-book-dudes!)


DOS - I have to mention Fell and Dead Space.
I mention these books because of Mr. Ben Templesmith. He does art on both books and his style is contagious. Awesome stuff. I don't even know how he creates his stuff - computer? paints? - but it looks brilliant. Fell is largely a detective story and Dead Space is basically a space zombie book. Awesome.

Templesmith is also the artist on the 30 Days of Night vampire book written by horror-scribe Steve Niles, and now a movie (out on DVD already). I heard great things about the book and okay things about the movie.

Regardless, check out his artwork if you get a chance. Fell is relatively young and is priced to sell at $1.99!!!



TRES - The Nightly News by Jonathan Hickman
This dude's got some skills. He created this book largely in a graphic designy (is that an adjective?) way and it looks brilliant. I initially thought that it would become too "Here is what I learned in my Adobe Illustrator class today" but the story is engaging and honestly the art never gets too ham handed.

The book has been described as a mix between Fight Club and Network. That's a pretty good description. It definitely satisfied the insurgent/revolutionary in me.

Hickman's latest project is Pax Romana (which I will definitely pick up in trade). From what I hear it's like Roman Empire with machine guns. Hickman's got a pretty bright future ahead of him.

Doomed to repeat it...

I wanted to share this audio. I had a moment earlier today listening to this. I guess I should have posted this on April 4, on the anniversary of MLK's death, but better late than never.

This speech speaks to all war. It made me cry when I listened to this. We haven't learned a damn thing.

Excited about...1993?

So I happened upon a site talking about the new Breeders album coming out on Tuesday?! Had no idea. I had this notion that Kim Deal had just retired to Dayton, OH and was spending her nights at the local VFW drinking with old, crotchety dudes. But there it is. And after going to the Breeders' myspace page (the Breeders have a myspace page) and listening to some of the songs I have to say that I'm actually excited about it. Check it out if you were ever a Breeders or even Pixies fan. My favorite track so far is located HERE.

I never have listened to Title TK (their third record from 2002). I guess by then I had moved on to other things. There were The Amps of course and their record rules but I heard mixed reviews of Title TK and didn't bother. They were putting albums out like Marvel put out the "Civil War" issues (insert comic nerd chuckle here).

But, there you go. New Breeders. And while we're at it, check out the following picture of the Pixies. Look how YOUNG they are!!! Man, Frank Black looks 17!!!

March 2008 Poll - U2, Brutus?

The Biscuit World Golden Shillelagh goes to...U2!!! Bono and the boys managed to edge out Dolores O'Riordan and her yodeling skills by just 3 votes.

Now, BW did vote for U2 but has fallen off the U2 bandwagon of late. BW owns every album (except Boy for some reason) up through and including Zooropa. After that? Loss of interest I guess.

Top 3 albums (from the BW catalog): War, Joshua Tree, Zooropa (don't get my buddy Antoine started on this one). But, I guess as the saying goes, if you pick a favorite you're not a TRUE fan...

Congratulations to Larry Mullen, Jr., Bono Vox, Adam Clayton, and The Edge for their victory. Erin Go Bragh, indeed!!!

Zombie King

NASHVILLE, TN - On a Friday night, the 21st of March, 2008, the Belcourt Theater screened a midnight showing of "Diary of the Dead"...with one added bonus - George Romero.

This is actual footage. He is, in real-life, colored black and white. It is very strange but you get used to it. Mr. Romero, the Godfather of the Zombie Genre, was apparently in NashVega$ for a Horror Tattoo Convention of some sort and popped over to the Belcourt to say hello. Best known for his ground-breaking horror film, "The Night of the Living Dead" (1968), Romero has continued his zombie franchise through four other films. He also has credits as producer to the nostalgia-inducing horror TV show, "Tales from the Darkside", a personal favorite (BW: NOW airing on Sci-Fi!!!).

He was a little unprepared but spoke a bit before the movie and even answered some questions from the zombie fanboys in the crowd. He even got into a little ideological/philosophical discussion of "Jesus: The ORIGINAL Zombie?" He then invited the audience over to his hotel for more discussion (seriously!) and took his leave of the brain-starved hordes...

My buddy Jimmy came down for this and we had a blast. There was, of course, the prerequisite zombie outfits including the tragic Prom Night Couple. Oh, if only there car hadn't been on that lonely, country road at that one fateful moment. Maybe they would have made it to the dance and had their first kiss to "Feels Like the First Time"...

Kirkmaniac!!!

The circle is complete! I finally got a letter printed in my current favorite comic book, "The Walking Dead". Written by fellow Kentuckian Robert Kirkman, TWD tells the story of the survivors of a zombie plague (real cause unknown) that have fled the city of Atlanta and holed up in an abandoned prison located in the remote countryside. The main character was a policeman before the plague in Cynthiana, KY (located just north of Lexington). The series is on Issue 47 but you can probably find trades of it in your local library!

It really is an awesome book. I'm a huge fan of survivalist horror, zombies, and all that, but Kirkman writes it so well you really get to know how people would really deal with the undead AND each other. But he made me as giddy as a little girl by printing my letter. Maybe we'll get married. That would be something.

Check out Kirkman's other books: Invincible, The Astounding Wolf-Man, Brit (all of which I've blogged about already), the soon-ending run on Ultimate X-Men, etc. He's a talent for sure.

February 2008 Poll - BAMF!

BAMF! The winner for our 2008 Preferred Superpower Poll is Tele *BAMF* por *BAMF* tation!!!

For those of you wondering what "BAMF" means, it is the sound effect for the X-Man Nightcrawler (pictured) when he teleports around. He was created by Dave Cockrum (whom I met at a comic store on Shepherdsville Road, but I digress) and is by far the coolest one of the X-Men in the movie trilogy. He was played quite well by Alan Cumming, I might add.

But, back to the poll. Almost half of you voted for getting where you want to go instantaneously. Maybe you should go see the movie "Jumper"? I still haven't seen it but it looks rad.

BW voted for flight. I feel that the sensation of flight would overcome the more efficient 'porting. But, the real question is how to pick all those bugs out of my teeth...

Tommy

A friend of mine had a mama cat and four kittens dropped on her doorstep in the fall of 1993. I had just moved out of my parents' house into my first apartment. Serendipity.

I went over to her house and went into the room where they were keeping the cats. One kitten was nursing, one was in a closet whining, and the other two (one gray and one cream) were running around. I played with the gray one for quite some time. When I stood up to leave I inexplicably picked up the cream one. The rest is history. I named him Tommy after the Primus song, "Tommy the Cat". Yeah, I know. Real original. But I was a huge Primus fan back then.

He was smaller than a chilito (remember those?). He immediately had a house mate named Booger. She was bigger but kind to him and he grew up fast. We moved together into a house with 3 other dudes (including my older brother). One of the other dudes had decided to get one of the litter as well and so Tommy and his biological sister, Tabitha, were reunited for two years. Tommy even became the perfunctory star of the short-lived cable access phenomenon, "Biscuit and Gravy Train".

After the Residence' came 227 in Fern Creek, and then the Castle. After 5 years in the same place, Tommy and I moved again; this time to Nashville, TN. In a short 10 months I got engaged, married, and then grabbed Tommy and loaded up the U-Haul again for Somerville, MA.

Tommy was always the sweetest cat. He would talk to birds, arch his back and dive like Greg Louganis (with a little help from me), walk on ceilings at command, and generally put up with all sorts of crap like wearing costumes and performing for the camera. Tommy was an amazing lap cat and would hop in a stranger's lap as easily as my own. He deferred to the other cats in the house, always letting them run the show. He even had a pretty funny voice, courtesy of my buddy, Jimmy.

Tommy and I were together for about 14 and a half years. And in that time he was a true, unconditional companion. I owe him my life in many ways. If it wasn't for Tommy who knows what would have happened to me? He helped me through many, many, lonely and depressed times. I leaned on him for just about everything.

Tommy was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure. His lab results were awful and the decision was made to put him down. We were able to spend time together this past Presidents' Day Weekend. And I was holding his paw when he passed. It's a strange thing to see your buddy lying there, not breathing, staring emptily out the window. I miss him already. Every day. Our other cat, Sophie has taken to lying on the blanket he used right before he died. Maybe it's because it's next to the radiator but I think it's because she knows he's gone.

Tommy was everything to me and there will never ever be another cat like him.

Tommy the Cat
b. August 17, 1993
d. February 19. 2008

Seriously...you KNOW you owned this!

A whilez ago, my buddy Antoine and I had a discussion about the Steve Miller Band. Specifically, its Greatest Hits record from 1974-1978.

I just heard "The Stake" (Track 7) on 100.7 WZLX coming home. For you Louisvillians, ZLX is basically Boston's QMF.

Man, I think I sold this CD in the GREAT CHRISTMAS CD SALE of 1995. (Just so happened a roommate's parents had just bought a CD player and wanted to update their media library.) But I gotta say, whether or not it's considered a guilty pleasure or not...I miss this record.

Too many good songs. Too classic. Heck, I even saw Steve Miller at Riverbend in Cincinnati. That's right. I'm a nerd.

But I challenge any of you American males to find any of your friends who did NOT own this record or at least know it by heart. I think it was a prerequisite for entering high school to have this...

January 2008 Poll - LOVE TRIANGLE!!!

As was mentioned previously, Biscuit World had its first TIE in poll voting. The first half of January asked you your favorite dude from 90210. The Internets have spoken and Dylan and Brandon tied with 7 votes each.

The second half asked for your favorite chick. 60% of you favored the lovely Jennie Garth-portrayed Kelly Taylor.

This love triangle thrilled fans of the show and BW's poll proves the love for this entanglement subsists.

Congratulations to Brandon Walsh, Dylan McKay, and Kelly Taylor!!! (BW voted for Brandon and Kelly so BW is very happy...)

Now only one question remains: WHO voted for Andrea? Heh.

May the Zombies Eat You First #1

Humans are self-important, self-absorbed and oblivious to their surroundings.

Granted, this is being written a few hours after getting off an airplane. Where else to really get a sense of humanity but a 34 row flying cylinder of pressurized air and strangers? You don't really get the gist of it unless you're forced to share space with people you don't know and who all want to get on and off the plane before you. No matter what. Flying rant starts now:

First, when airlines actually make an announcement for pre-boarding (and it doesn't happen all the time), it usually applies to families with children and those who need assistance (i.e. old people). So why is that EVERYBODY decides to get in line then? Why not give those people a few seconds, like maybe 30 to 60, to get out of their chairs and make their way to the gates unimpeded?

Second, when your airplane lands and the seatbelt sign gets turned off and you're sitting in row 33 of 34, sit your ass down. You're not helping matters by standing there, tapping your foot, waiting to get off. You're in row 33! BTW, if you go down the aisle before someone in row 32 (who hasn't been able to get their stuff together because you've been standing in the aisle the whole time) you should have your brains AND intestines eaten first.

Third, when you sit down on the plane keep in mind that there is a slight chance that the person sitting behind you may have been born with knees. Don't do a Greg Louganis and back dive into your chair. That sucks.

Fourth, when you smile at a baby and act all nice, don't let its mother see your blackberry when you text before takeoff that "Now I have to sit next to a sick baby for 2 hours..." Low class. Plus, by the time the plane reached 10,000 feet said baby was asleep and slept the ENTIRE flight.

Fifth, pushing a stroller and two carry-on bags and carrying a backpack and a baby and a diaper bag takes some coordination, so give the parents a break. I promise you they are not trying to hold you up so you can stand at the baggage carousel, tapping your foot, waiting to pick up your luggage...

May the zombies eat you first...

Internets go CRAZY! BW Site Crashes!

The unthinkable just happened at BW.
We have our first Biscuit World Poll TIE!!!
Results will be posted after the "chick" portion of the poll is closed.

Stay tuned.

Reprazent Da Ville!!!

So, the coolest thing just happened and NOBODY TOLD ME! In case you've been in Mephisto's Realm, or perhaps just chillin' in Asgard, the Marvel Comics Universe had a Civil War (with a VERY lackluster denouement). Because of said Civil War, Tony Stark and the Man say ALL super-beings have to register their powers with the government or be locked up (in the Negative Zone no less).

SOME supes have had the cojones to say "Here's my super power - givin tha Man tha bird!!!" Which means Marvel is raking in the dough cuz now there's like a bajillion Avengers titles. [Full disclosure - I'm a fanboy sucker and I buy three of them] Bendis is rockin "The New Avengers" and "The Mighty Avengers" but...

The reason I'm posting is because of "Avengers: The Initiative". Specifically Issue 7. The Initiative, created by Hank Pym, Mr. Fantastic, and Iron Man, is a program to train and position a Super-Hero Team in each of the 50 states. Well, looks like Kentucky's is up and running!!! REPRAZENT!!!

Check out the scan from said issue: Da Ville (with some new buildings in the skyline) AND three members of Kentucky's team (which is listed as The Action Pack, Team #15). Those three members are called Vox, Prima Donna, and Frog-Man. One would assume that Frog-Man spent some time in the Ohio River (perhaps TOO much time *thanks, Jim*).

Enjoy! Go pick up this back issue or the whole run. It's been a fun title so far. It also centers around a character named Michael Van Patrick (MVP), the most promising new recruit to the Initiative, who tragically "loses his life" during a training session. Well, the Van Patrick farm just so happens to be located in Liberty, KY (right down US 127 from Danville). Pretty tight.