Pigskin Precog - Week 16

Week 15 Record: 6-9*
Cumulative Record: 119-72

*missed Colts game

Only ONE more week after this! SHEESH!
At least I came in first (reg. season) in fantasy football...this is championship weekend!
Happy Holidays to everyone.

The magic 8-ball in my head says:
Chargers Saints Texans Packers
Giants Raiders Patriots Bengals
Steelers Falcons Cardinals 49ers
Eagles Colts Cowboys Vikings

YAY SANTA!!!

Pigskin Precog - Week 15...arrghhh.

I will go on record again saying that I HATE me some Thursday night football...

Week 14 Record: 12-4
Cumulative Record: 113-63

So. Missed the Colts game last night. Would have picked the Colts but I can't include that in the overall record, to be fair to you...and myself. Heh.

Three weeks left! Going for 15-0?
Saints Chiefs Texans Patriots
Titans Eagles Lions Bears
Jets Broncos Chargers Seahawks
Packers Vikings Giants

Audi 5

November 2009 Poll - He is still FAB

Your favorite Beatle is...GEORGE!
I realized after putting up the poll that I should have included George Martin. If not for his production the Beatles would still have been great but not groundbreaking. I mean, just the piano solo in the middle of "In My Life" alone should have been enough to include him (if it sounds like a harpsichord to you that is because it was recorded octave(s) lower and sped up on the record - genius).

Well, I have heard from many a Beatles fan that the George songs on each record are their faves. And he may not have had the popularity of a Paul or John solo career but All Things Must Pass is still awesome.

And I suppose this is fitting in a way that I'm finally getting to post this the day after the anniversary of John's death on 12/8/1980. RIP you Beatles. The great irony will be when Ringo or Yoko outlive us all...heh.

Pigskin Precog - Week 14???!!!

Week 11 Total: 11-5
Cumulative Total: 101-59*

*AARRGGGHHH!!! What happened to weeks 12 and 13??? Well, first it was Thanksgiving week and then it was a family vacation to Los Angeles, Calliefourneeya. I should have known this was going to be hard to keep up. Can you imagine me (or anyone) doing a baseball season? YIKES!

The prognosticators have spoken for this upcoming week:
Steelers Saints Jets Dolphins
Bengals Seahawks Bills Packers
Ravens Patriots Colts Raiders
Titans Chargers Eagles 49ers

See you next week...maybe.

Pigskin Precog - Week 11

Okay. This counts. I know a game is already going on over on the NFL Network (Thursday night football is lame) but I have NO idea what's going on over there...honest.

Week 10 Record: 7-8 (YIKES!)
Cumulative Record: 90-54

What a week! Close games and some WTF games...
The winners in Week 11 (including tonight) will be:
Panthers Colts Cowboys Lions
Packers Jaguars Steelers Vikings
Giants Rams Saints Chargers
Patriots Bengals Bears Titans

Later.

OMG #5

We went to the farmers market a few weeks ago to get some pumpkins for Halloween.
(BTW: is it farmers, farmer's, or farmers'?) We ate some pretty good Indian there but the wife heroically stood in line at the Egyptian place for like 3 hours to get me some baklava.


I ate half of it when we got home.
Last night, I saw some foil and what appeared to be the remaining half-wedge of baklava in the fridge. Yeah, I know, "GROSS, it's like months old or something!" Well, that didn't stop me.


HOWEVER...

You know how your expectations for one thing get built up in your head and then you realize what you are getting is not what you expected? Yeah, that's about right.

It was a piece of fish.


P.S. I will pay money for actual evidence that ANYwhere in the world there exists a place out in the middle of nowhere with two bathtubs just sitting there waiting for an older couple with erectile dysfunction. I mean, seriously!!! Where do you get the water for the tub? If it's from a natural source, how are you heating it? And if not, are you telling me you want to get your freak on after you and your privates have been soaking in cold, stagnant water? That's just nasty.

Heh #10

So, I had the Stevie Wonder episode of "The Cosby Show" running around in my head today. Most likely bumping into things, you know what I'm sayin? Heh.

BUT, I thought I would challenge you all to see if you can get what each family member says that gets recorded into Stevie's keyboard. I will attempt to "white them out" with font color. Highlight them for the answers. Any challenges to my ridiculously accurate pop culture knowledge will be listened to and then dismissed.

NOTE: Sondra and Elvin not present in the studio and Olivia was not around yet...


Dr. Huxtable: "Baby"
Mrs. Huxtable, Esq.: "La"
Denise: " I don't know what to say"
Theo: "Jammin' on the one"
Vanessa: "Robert"
Rudy: "she imitated a giraffe noise"

Don't worry if you couldn't get them all. I'm just that awesome.
Now, if only there were some way to make this talent profitable...

Pigskin Precog - Week 10

Week 9 Record: 9-4
Cumulative Record: 83-46
Halfway Point Winning Percentage: 64.34%

Week 9 gets us halfway home. Not too shabby. But I want some perfect weeks...high expectations?

The Week 10 winners will be:
Bears Vikings Broncos Steelers
Falcons Bucs Saints Jets
Titans Raiders Packers Cardinals
Chargers Patriots Ravens

Pigskin Precog - Week 9

Week 8 Record: 9-4
Cumulative Record: 74-42

Not too bad. Almost halfway home.
The Week 9 winners will be:
Falcons Bears Ravens Colts
Jaguars Patriots Packers Saints
Seahawks Chargers Titans Eagles Steelers

Have fun running grass drill...

NEW Product Review! CRUNCH!

Yesterday, in honor of the holiday, I partook in a few bowls of Limited Edition Halloween Crunch. Basically, it was Cap'n Crunch with crunchy ghosts that turn your bowl of milk a nice shade of ectoplasmic green. The Minutes in Milk (MIM) Test yielded great results. Cap'n Crunch usually holds up pretty well. Good stuff. Not gonna top Oops! All Berry in my opinion BUT still a tasty bowl.

On the Orion scale, Halloween Crunch gets 4 (out of 5)

October 2009 Poll - Duh

Should've expected this. Reese's Pumpkins were indeed the tastiest treat on the list. Congratulations, peanut butter and chocolate.
Well, BRAVO to those of you who bucked the trend.
Especially the other person who selected "A Nickel Taped to Cardboard".
BW's favorite memory is getting $.05 in our pumpkin.

The boy went as a policeman this year and his parents went as burglars.
Good times.

Too bad about Cthulhu not emerging from his slumber in R'lyeh.
Could've sworn this year was the year. Now I'll just have to wait until 12/21/2012 like everyone else...

Pigskin Precog - Week 8

Week 7 Record: 8-5
Cumulative Record: 65-38

Man. And I started out so well with the 1:00 games.

The winners this week will be:
Cowboys Texans Giants Rams
Jets Colts Bears Ravens
Titans Chargers Packers Cardinals Saints

Whop upside the head
Gon' whop upside the head...

Heh #9

I got on an elevator yesterday with the boy.
There was a lady on the elevator.
She asked, "Is that your grandson?"
Hrm.

Pigskin Precog - Week 7

Week 6 Record: 7-7
Cumulative Record: 57-33

Knew this week would be rough. Missed a couple of calls by a field goal.
And Titans? Come on. But, notice that I still have my Titans magnets on the car...

The winners for Week 7 will be:
Packers Chargers Colts Patriots
Steelers Texans Panthers Raiders
Bears Falcons Saints Giants Eagles

Pigskin Precog - Week 6

Week 5 Record: 9-5
Cumulative Record: 50-26

Trading Deadline!!! Hope the Titans find some way out of the hole...
The winners will be...
Jaguars Saints Bucs Ravens
Packers Bengals Steelers Redskins
Seahawks Eagles Jets Patriots
Falcons Broncos

Sheesh. Hard week of picks. Parity, anyone?

Pigskin Precog - Week 5

Week 4 Record: 10-4
Cumulative Record: 41-21

Still doing well. Let's keep it up.
The winners will be:
Ravens Vikings Eagles Redskins
Steelers Giants Cowboys Bills
49ers Cardinals Seahawks
Patriots Colts Dolphins

Gonna be some tight ones again this week.
Wish me luck.

September 2009 Poll - TPx2!!!

It's the zombie apocalypse.
Survival at its finest...or worst.

And you all have got to have your toothpaste and toilet paper.
It was another tie in Biscuit World history.
BW voted for toothpaste and toothbrush.
I mean, what's worse than trying to line up a headshot on the walking dead with your mouth feeling like you have hair growing on your teeth? Gross, no?

In one hole. Out the other.
That never changes.
Even during a zombie apocalypse.

Pigskin Precog - Week 4

Week 3 Record: 12-4
Cumulative Record: 31-17

Nice week this week. Bet against the Lions AND Kyle Orton...who knew? And somehow the Bungles came up.

This week, the winners will be:
Bears Colts Redskins Patriots (squeak)
Giants Titans Raiders Bengals
Bills Saints (at home BUT the game to watch)
Broncos 49ers Steelers Packers

Picked a lot of away team victories...as usual, we will see...

Pigskin Precog - Week 3

Week 2 Record: 9-7
Cumulative Record: 19-13

Trend is towards getting worse. Let's turn this around. Mental Note: Don't pick the Lions to win.
To save space I am only going to type the winners. Good luck to me.

Week 3
Ravens Jets Giants Packers
Eagles Texans Vikings Redskins
Patriots Saints Bears Steelers
Chargers Raiders Colts Cowboys

Sheesh. Didn't realize how onerous these posts were going to get. At least it's not a baseball blog...

Pigskin Precog - Week 2

Week 1 Record: 10-6
Cumulative Record: 10-6

So, not a horrible start. But not a great one either. Should have known better on some of those. Feel like a few spoilers are going to happen here and there. So, that might explain this week's picks.

Week 2
Titans over Texans (c'mon Titans!)
Saints over Philly (who's QBing the Eagles this week?)
Cardinals over Jags (could be a tough one)
Raiders over Chiefs (KC is going to have a tough year)

Packers over Bengals (Ocho Cinco indeed)
Lions over Vikes (sleeper pick - Detroit gets one at home)
Redskins over Rams (when is Washington going to change their team name? Seriously!)
Pats over Jets (although it ain't gonna be easy)

Falcons over Panthers (uh oh, Carolina)
Bills over Bucs (TO gets a TD? Naw...)
49ers over Seahawks (Singletary. Home field. Nuff said.)
Chargers over Ravens (home field gets it)

Steelers over Bears (although Cutler is pick-free this weekend)
Browns over Broncos (another sleeper)
Giants over Cowboys (Giants steal one)
Colts over Dolphins (please, Peyton, get some fantasy points!)

We will see...

Pigskin Precog - Week 1

I've always meant to do this sort of thing on my own. You know, write out a list of the NFL games and pick the winners each week. So, what else could be better than doing it in public and failing for all to see on the Internets?

Obviously, I'm a little late, but, you know I picked the Titans to win Thursday night. Alas, heckuva game but the ending was unfortunate. 0 for 1. Each Tuesday or so, I'll wrap up the week and keep a running score. So, let the fun begin. (And you non-sports fans can just skip this post each week. Heh.)

Week 1
Titans over Steelers (oopsies)
Colts over Jags (Colts at home...um...Lucas Oil Stadium? Really??)
Saints over Lions (DET continues their dominance...at losing)
Cowboys over Bucs (no low-hanging scoreboard to worry about this week)

Bengals over Broncos (old school bias here but DEN QB Orton is as good in Denver as he was in Chicago)
Ravens over Chiefs (KC has QB issues)
Texans over Jets (NYJ QB Sanchez hits learning curve)
Browns over Vikings (MIN QB Favre comes out throwing...interceptions)

Falcons over Dolphins (in a close one)
Panthers over Eagles (Carolina wins with home-field advantage)
Giants over Redskins (although WAS DT Haynesworth will get Eli twice)
Cardinals over 49ers (Arizona picks up from last year)

Seahawks over Rams (again...homefield advantage)
Packers over Bears (sorry...but Bears will get them at home and win)
Patriots over Bills (NE at home? Pretty automatic. Even WITH T.O. in the mix)
Chargers over Raiders (definitely NOT your father's Raiders)

OKAY! That's it. My two cents of clairvoyance. See you next week...well, more like a few days...

August 2009 Poll - Action Figure Mayhem

For last month's poll BW asked for your favorite Cobra and Joe.

Joe was easy: Snake Eyes. As was expected.

Cobra was a surprise tie between Cobra Commander and Destro (seen above leaving their LSAT testing at the Ramada Inn)!!! Storm Shadow barely even made a peep. But I guess ninjas are quiet...

Congrats to all three winners. And good luck to Cobra Commander and Destro on receiving your test results! Hopefully you both passed the bar (although we all assume that you both cheated).

May the Zombies Eat You First #5

This one goes out to the drunk dude from the neighborhood who apparently was jumping/falling over fences, running through backyards, sitting in people's cars for no reason, and generally raising cain all over the place last night.

You apparently found it an abomination that we parked our car in our driveway behind our house under our street lamp. So you threw a brick through our driver's side window.

Sweet. At least you chose to steal nothing. Making the act all the more random and pointless. Thank for choosing to do so on my birthday and not the day before. Otherwise I would have spent my birthday at the glass shop getting the car fixed. May your cellmates down in lockup have unwittingly been bitten by roamers and they turn overnight. One could imagine that THAT would be a sure-fire way to sober you up...

Pictured below: Driver's side window with hole in it. Brick with no hole in it.

Heh #8

Ken Burns should do a documentary on bad haircuts.

OMG #4

Earlier this morning at 4:30 the boy crawled into bed with us...
I turned over.
I felt a little itch near my elbow.
I grabbed at it with my right hand.
My thumb, index finger, and middle finger of my right hand.
I squeezed.
I squeezed a f*cking spider in my hand.
A giant we-apparently-have-millions-of-giant-spiders-in-Tennessee spider.
They are everywhere downstairs.
I spend most of my time upstairs.

Those of you who know me know this was devastating.
Dev. Uh. Stating.

New Dew. New Dew? NEW DEW!

The latest release of Mountain Dew pits good versus evil. New Game Fuels represent the factions from the crazy living-in-my-parents'-basement-so-I-got-nothing-better-to-do-than-play-this-here-MMORPG World of Warcraft.

It's Alliance Blue against Horde Red. Wild Fruit taking on Citrus Cherry. Elves all up in the Orcs' biznass. Who will win? Well, neither.

I had to take a step back cuz I drink Mello Yello or Mountain Dew like water. I think my taste buds were corroded the first time I tried these. I actually liked them, but once my friend Ol' Dirty Sanchez emailed me I realized I might be too much of a Dew insider to vote judiciously.

He wrote, after trying the blue: "the worst part really was the smell. I had to hold my breath while the bottle was on its way to my mouth, but then it tasted just mediocre compared to the noxiousness of the fumes. I only drank down to the top of the label before I was too grossed out and just dumped the rest." Wow. So I waited a while and went back to the bottle.

ODS was right. Not an epic fail but certainly not the wonderment of O.G. Dew or even the Halo 3 Game Fuel which is still a highlight of my beverage consumption days. We miss you, Halo 3!!!

I did however have a favorite though. Horde Red. Not as good as Code Red but along those lines. The Alliance Blue does actually taste kind of how it looks. Like Wiper Fluid. Well, maybe not that bad but still not good enough to knock off any of my favorite Dew flavors. Each gets two Orions out of five. Well, more like a 1.5 for Blue and 2.4 for Red. Keep in mind, that is probably higher than it should be, but consider that my bloodstream is half plasma, half Dew. Oh, and you are welcome.

July 2009 Poll - Das Und Rolls der Switzerland?

Chocolate cake rolled around a layer of creme filling and drenched with fudge coating. Available twin-wrapped in a 12 count carton. Yumz.

The winner of this month's poll is the Little Debbie Swiss Rolls? What happened to the word "Cake"? Well. We might not buy Debbie's attempt to make these sound "healthy" by removing a word, but we will buy a box of twelve and eat them in one gaming session of Halo 3 with an ice-cold Mello Yello and a side of plasma grenade. Congratulations to the country of Switzerland and their rolls. BW voted for Nutty Bars but I guess we can't win 'em all...

Heh #7

Take your car
Yes we will
We'll take your car and drive it
We'll take it to a motel room and take 'em off in private...

Thank you, J. Geils.
Thank you.

OMG #3

Quietly. Almost Overnight. Americana has changed and nobody gives a damn. I guess we need more MJ coverage. Heck, I didn't even see all that much reference to the 40th anniversary of the freakin moon landing.

BUT THIS! This is HUGE! Coca-Cola has changed the shape of the Two-Liter Bottle!!!

Coke is changing the shape in order to give the two-liter the contour shape of its 20 oz. bottles. Which, by the way, the contour bottle is trademarked...

They started the transition down here in Birmingham and Chattanooga and now our Kroger has ALL Coke products in the new digs. I hear that they may not be up north yet but they...are...coming...

Gotta say, the pourability is pretty tight. And it seems that the packaging is smaller. I doubt that the environment was a major concern for the new bottle but I guess we gotta take baby steps with that. At least until the Earth melts. But, now that I mention it, can we trust them that it is still TWO liters in there?

That's one small step for man, one giant leap for beverages.

June 2009 Poll - Senor Sanders!

The battle for Yum! supremacy ends with KFC Bell. Or Taco Chicken. Or whatever you want to call it. BW voted for this one. We miss the old local neighborhood KFC Bell. Especially the Tuesday $1.99 Special! *sob*

Congratulations, Senor Sanders.

Horn Tootin'!

So, from 1998-2002 I played keyboards in a band called the kilowatthours. We released 2 EPs, a 7" record and two full-length records on an independent record label named Temporary Residence Limited, out of Baltimore.

Well. A song called "Perfect Fool" off of the last record I appeared on, The Bright Side, appeared as a music interlude on NPR! The day was 6/9/09. Heh. 6/9. I have to say...I was pretty stoked about this.

Follow this link.
The song follows a story about the upcoming Olympics in Sochi. It's towards the end of the page.

Toot. Toot.

OMG #2

AARGHHH!
1) Seriously, dudes. If you are pulling into the center lane to turn left on a busy road, then why dontcha go ahead and PULL INTO the center lane. This one's gonna put me on the 6 o'clock news.
SHEESH!

2) If you are pulling up to a drive-thru window, do me a favor and make sure to PULL UP TO the window! If the window dude has to lean out his window and stretch for your car you are too far away. If you have the room to open your car door and get out and walk to the window to reach the window dude you are too far away.

This post should probably get a "May the Zombies Eat You First" tag as well but I'm trying to stay on my medication. Venting really helps...

AARGHHH!

Heh #6

Reading an article about GM the other day, I realized that "Chevrolet Citation" is an absolutely horRENdous name for a car. Seriously? Who thought that was a good idea? Plus, I doubt that thing could get fast enough to even GET a citation.

I mean, I know the Chevy Nova didn't sell in Latino markets but I can let that slide. Maybe the execs weren't bilingual (if you don't already know this little tidbit, Nova translates into Spanish as "It does not go"). Maybe they were but still thought it sounded badass. That still doesn't excuse the Citation. Sheesh.

Well, here is my Top Ten of Stupidest Names to EVER Give a Car (in no particular order). And, as always, you are welcome. And feel free to add your own in the comments section.

1) Lincoln Assassination
2) Oldsmobile POS
3) Nissan LeMon
4) GMC WTF
5) Infiniti Andbeyond
6) Ford 9/11
7) Mercedes-Benz Fourth Reich
8) Cadillac Ackackackackackack
9) Saab Story
10) Volvo Vulva

May 2009 Poll - Dust. Wind. Dude.

Hemlock or no hemlock. The winner of Biscuit World's latest poll is Socrates Johnson.

Congratulations, Socrates, for edging out the rest of your fellow "Bill and Ted's" castmates.

This is a short post.

NEW Product Review! To Boldly Eat...

Can't say I'm surprised another new movie gets another limited edition cereal. BW reviewed the Indiana Jones Cereal a while ago and here comes another one. Star Trek Cereal comes at you with spiral galaxies of oats and FIVE different marshmallows: Planet Earth, Planet Vulcan, and three different colored Delta Shields. Overall, the cereal is decent. It's basically your average Lucky Charms clone. It runs about average on the MIM (Minutes In Milk) Test. I think that I liked the chocolate puffs in the Indy cereal slightly better. There are definitely better cereals than this one out there but if you are a Trekkie, or just a little curious, then give this a taste. The box will go quickly. Back to the Orion scale (out of 5), this one gets a 3. I'm going to leave movie talk out of this post. Maybe if I get to the theater I'll come back atcha. Later, dudes!

April 2009 Poll - MMM...Peanut Butter and Chocolate

Much to the chagrin of some BW readers, Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs edged out the Cadbury Creme Egg for Best Easter Candy. Now, BW voted for Mr. Cadbury, but has to admit that one of life's true pleasures is the Reese's Double Sized Egg. Ridiculous.

Hope everyone got at least one of the poll's options in their Easter basket (or Spring Festival Basket or whatever). I'm still jonesing for some Cadbury Mini-Eggs (the ones with the colorful hard candy shells). I think I ate several packages whole in one sitting...

Congratulations, Mr. Reese on your most wondrous of concoctions. Too bad your combination of Corn Dogs and Hollandaise Sauce never really took off.

Heh #5

Just a friendly reminder to everyone...

DON'T FAKE THE FUNK ON A NASTY DUNK.

Best of Led Zeppelin

Well, I know my buddy Jimmy would say that there is no such thing as this category. That's not his fault. He sat in front of a Zep fan in high school who happened to also be a drummer...

Zeppelin was my first real love in high school. Couldn't get enough. And even though the other members are ridiculously talented in their own rights, I was always fondest of John Paul Jones. But I guess that's just cuz I'm a keyboard player first, drummer second.

I decided to leave The Song Remains the Same out of contention along with the multitude of greatest hits, live and rarities albums Page has remastered and put out every few years when he needs to make a bank deposit.

Anyway, the list...

1. Physical Graffiti - I know. I know. A double album. But when the Smashing Pumpkins and other bands put out their own double albums that should have been single albums (or EPs) you realize how good every song on this is.
2. IV - Instant Classic. Changed hard rock forever.
3. II - "Bring It On Home". Nuff Said.
4. Houses of the Holy - Would've been perfect withOUT "Dancing Days".
5. I - Go back and revisit this one. Sounds a little dated but "Dazed and Confused" and "How Many More Times" are stupid good.
6. III - Rockers thrown in with some quality acoustic stuff. "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" pwns.
7. Presence - "Achilles Last Stand" alone, on a single, would still rank here.
8. Coda - Could Zeppelin have outlasted the Stones? Maybe it's better we didn't find out.
9. In Through The Out Door - "Carouselambra" is still my favorite track to drum along to...

FYI - Seriously! I'm Awesome!

Refer to three posts down.
Look at that fictitious Dharma/MTV Logo.
I mean, how AWESOME is that logo?
And no comments on it. Not one.

Seriously. I had to go into MS Paint and copy and paste stuff from the Internet for that logo. Do y'all think genius like that creates itself???!!!

Sorry to yell. It's not your fault.

Pearl before swine? I won't go that far but MAN! That's one helluva logo!!!

Come correct and reprazent!

OMG #1

Today I saw an ad for Wolverine promoting Schick Quattro razors. Should that get an "LOL"? Absolutely not.

It was bad enough that the movie was tied in to X-treme Large Papa John's pizzas. Oh. I get it. He's on the "X"-Men.

Maybe there's a company called Mutton Chops out there somewhere that can take advantage of this thing. Or maybe a company owned by someone named "Bub". (fanboy reference)

What's next? Let's take a look.
"Good day to you. I am Professor Charles Xavier and I am speaking to you through your mind. Here at Rogaine..."

"I'm Kurt Wagner and I'd like to talk to you about argyria..."

"And that was Ororo Munroe on location for the Weather Channel, deep in the eye of the hurricane. (ahem, which she probably caused) Thank you, Storm. We'll check back in with you at 11:00!"

Dudes. Seriously.

FYI - I'm Awesome!

So, the last time I ever won a game of chance or a bet on something was probably in 1984 or 1985. So, you are not likely to see me makin' hundies at the Heeg (The Mohegan Sun) anytime soon. It was the summer before or after sixth grade at the church picnic and I pulled a red-colored bingo tab that netted me 50 bones. Was it legal for me to play bingo? Elephino, but I do know that it was awesome. And, just last night, I officially won my brother's NCAA men's tournament bracket challenge beating out six other people. For posterity, below is the winning bracket. Enjoy!

March 2009 Poll - Wet T-Shirts and Smoke Monsters

The kids have spoken. The worst spring break destination would be the Dharma Initiative/MTV Spring Break Getaway. Edgar Halliwax will be releasing a new Orientation Video any day now... (insert any other vague L O S T reference here)

Now, due to contractual obligations, I can't reveal what delights await you on this "vacation". But I can hint that it would involve T-Pain, Lil Wayne, and lots and lots of "experiments".

Sorry to our runners up. Cthulhu really thought he had a chance with the early poll results favoring his hometown of R'lyeh. Maybe next time, Old One.

Heh #4

Thin Lizzy
"Jailbreak"

Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak
Somewhere in the town
Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak
So don't you be around

Umm...guys?
"SOMEwhere in the town"?

Try the JAIL!!!

May the Zombies Eat You First #4

This post is WAY overdue.

You. Yeah, you. The dude(tte) driving on the road, oblivious to the Emergency Vehicle behind you.

I'm not going to begrudge you your loud music. I listen to the radio when I drive. And occasionally a Compact Disc. No biggie.

But, not hearing it cuz you are on your phone? GRAAAGHHH...

AND, are you SERIOUS?
You are trying to get in front of me after half-assly pulling over (well more like angling your car "towards" the shoulder) to get out of said Emergency Vehicle's way? You want to get ahead in the line now? WHAT? BLEAARRGGHHHH...

Maybe in an alternate dimension you will be in that Emergency Vehicle and some dude will be trying to text his buddies about how many cars he cut off that day...

May the ZOMBIES eat you first...

February 2009 Poll - That's what she said!

Fans of "The Office" showed up this month to push Jim and Pam over the top of chocolate and peanut butter (which BW cannot live without). As far as romance goes, their story is one of the better ones. Two people who belonged together actually got together. Take THAT, Joss Whedon.

Congratulations, Jim and Pam. But watch your back, people. Batman and Robin didn't receive a single vote and they know where you live...

Product Review - Arnold Palmer!

This photo was taken over Christmas here in East Nasty (East Nashville for those suckas out there). This photo contains three awesome things.
#1 AWESOME beard
#2 AWESOME hat
#3 AWESOME beverage

I am not sure why it has taken me so long to bizzlog about the wondrous liquid but it's about time!!! The awesome beverage of choice of awesome people is Arizona Iced Tea's ARNOLD PALMER!!!

Yeah! I know! I hate golf!

But that dude knows how to brew a tasty drink!
It's touted as "Lite" and "1/3 Less Calories".
It SHOULD have a warning label as to how awesome it is!

What? You ask wtf is an Arnold Palmer?
HALF Iced Tea.
HALF Lemonade.
5/3 Awesome.

Kroger down here in the hood just started to carry it and it's all over for me. Save yourself. In fact, funny story, the can in the picture is from a gas station near Louisville. I had to import that shizzle into TN!!!

BEST DRINK EVER
It receives Infinity Orions out of five.
OUT

Heh #3

The Sprint Store is the new DMV.

Sprint.
DMV.
Suckage.

Heh #2

I have OCD.
It appears in many eclectic forms but one of the more interesting ones is that when I get a drink from somewhere like McDonald's or whatever I have to line up the McDonald's logo that is on the lid with the seam in the cup (where the cup is glued together to form the cylinder).

It's weird but awesome at the same time. Right?
Also, when I have a glass at home I always have to drink from it in the exact same spot. Usually, this spot is marked by a logo or picture or something on the glass/cup so I know from where to sip.

That was very therapeutic to get out in the open. And now that I read it, it is pretty awesome.

But, the main reason I'm posting this is to relate something that drives me crazy, mostly due to my OCD.

Manhole covers that have the center yellow lines drawn/painted on them.
When these are removed and put back they are hardly ever put back right.
It drives me crazy to see the center lines NOT matched up.
It's just aesthetics people. You gotta put it back on so why not put it on where the lines line up?
SHEESH!

Is that too much to ask?

Heh #1

Today I have the incredible urge to start yelling "Break yourself, fool!" to random people. Not sure if that would get me shot or what...

Maybe I'll keep this one to myself.

Totally AWESOME!

I am officially freaking out. I found myself in Target yesterday hopping up and down like an idiot. This came after seeing a cover of Cormac McCarthy's book, "The Road", that had a picture of Viggo Mortensen on it and said "Now a major motion picture".

All I can say is...NO HWAY!!!
For anyone who liked "No Country for Old Men" this is a must-read.
For anyone who likes post-apocalyptic stories this is a must-read.
For anyone who is awesome like me this is a must-read.

I've seen a half-dozen production stills and it looks amazing. I'll leave it to you to search yourself so I don't drop any spoilers on you. It looks like they will alter the story a little bit (but when does Hollywood NOT do that?) but I am still 100% stoked. IMDB did not have a US release date but it opens in Argentina in June...huh? Regardless, "Watchmen" will probably hold my attention until this comes out anyway. So AWESOME!

DUDE!

January 2009 Poll - It done gone and went...

Its official. If grammar polls was a football game, than this one were the Super Bowl!!! It should of went on longer then it did but you ain't never gonna believe you're results!!!

It's vs. Its (and sometimes its')!
You're vs. Your!
They're vs. Their!

Contractions or possessive adjectives? Who cares?! They're the winners!
(NOTE: NOT "Their the winners!")

BW's favorite though was the good ol' subject-predicate agreement.
With an emphasis on the "WE WAS..." variety.
I mean, how on Xenu's Green Earth does that sound GOOD to your ears?

Hope you caught the Puppy Bowl and the Kitty Halftime Show!
BW OUT!

Best of Star Wars

Thought I'd start a "Best of..." series with some really important stuff; which Star Wars movies are the best? Obviously, anyone who ranks the later-released trilogy above any part of the original trilogy is on drugs. Jar Jar. 'Nuff said.

Arguments can be made for other orders but you would be wrong. Episode 2 edges out 1 and 3 due to the Yoda/Dooku and Obi-Wan/Jango fights. Although I'm not so sure about Geonosis in general. Episode 1 and its horrible Anakin acting edges out Episode 3 and its horrible Anakin acting due to the return of John Williams and Darth Maul (although his death is still a sore spot). Plus, Episode 3's ending? C'mon.

1. The Empire Strikes Back
2. A New Hope
3. Return of the Jedi
4. Attack of the Clones
5. The Phantom Menace
6. Revenge of the Sith

Let the arguments commence...oh, and Jar Jar still sucks.

Last Poll of 2008 - Brilliant!

So, this wasn't the most scientific of polls here at Biscuit World.
It became almost immediately evident that the results would be skewed. I should've put in a sixth scene from the movie instead of "The whole thing is awesome." Cuz, that is what you overwhelmingly picked.

Probably, one of the most well-crafted and oft-quoted Christmas movies, "A Christmas Story" will always be a Yuletide tradition. At least at Biscuit World.

Congratulations to us and to TBS, seeing as how this one movie completely eliminates any programming for an entire day at that station.